look ... a culture shark!

this morning, when i was driving in to work, i saw a strange sight. polyester checked shirt on scooter, gesturing wildly. talking to himself? and then i saw the extension to the left ear. ear phone attached to the ubiquitous cell phone, more plentiful in bangalore than anywhere else i've been. look out of any window at any time & you will see checked shirts with moustaches -- one arm bent at the elbow, handset stuck to the ear. plenty of them. some walking in twos each talking on the cell. to each other? naah. hope not! patiala salwars with crinkled dupattas are not to be left far behind. their phones hang around their necks like nooses. indeed it is that -- a noose. no way you can escape a cell phone in bangalore. life comes to a stand-still if you do not have one. "give me a missed call." 'scuse me? uninitiated, that means call me so i have your number and can save it.
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stop at any signal and look around you. all you will see are men. seas of them, oceans of them. staring back at you. wait for the elevator -- make sure you don't balk when the doors open. men inside. tons of them. you squeeze in feeling naked for all those eyes bore into your back. walk into a cafe for more men. cups are set down and eyes are trained on you. you can be boy, girl, fat thin, beautiful, plain jane, big butt, slim hipped, blond, streaked, or simply average joe. those eyes will stare. you're in a car, in your cocoon -- or so you think. auto to the right and scooter to your left. auto driver, mom-dad with kid in the back will peer in. scooter driver and pillion rider make their hair in the reflection of your thankfully tinted glasses. else 4 more eyes would stare. and not just glance, not just look. i mean stare you down. until the light changes and they get a move on (or you move on). and probably catch up with you at the next light to continue the activity. and... not only men, women stare too. like when this woman stared me down in an elevator that went 6 excruciating floors up, up, up, to my cube. we're a staring culture.
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"silence" "people working, please be quiet." "no meetings in the aisles." "find a conference room for your meetings." thus go chandler corridor signs. cut to bangalore. the decibel level on the 6th floor of the airport road office is unbelievable. every blue badge is screaming over the amplified voice of another.

Blue Badge 1: "Aa server bantaa? yenoo, naa tarbekaa?"
Blue Badge 2: "What? The dealer has not replied? why didnt you follow up? you are underperforming."
Blue Badge 1: "Yaav server tarlii?"
Blue Badge 3: "helloo? helloooohhh?"
Blue Badge 2: "You should call back everyday! kya yaar."
Blue Badge 4: "kitne ka discount hai?"
Blue Badge 3: "why can't you do this yourself? this spoon-feeding will not do!"
Blue Badge 4: "helloooo? sunoh!?"
and then to top it all, someone puts his call on speaker phone! "this is anil, can you hear me?"

yeah, we all can, thank you.
was this the stock exchange i had walked into? i mean the noise level was insane. and on days that sales guys are visiting and occupying any which empty cubicle they can, the melee gets unbearable. you can forget hearing the person at the other end of your own coversation. can we ask them to pipe down? or find a conference room? no, that's not polite. 'scuse me?
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and so it goes. life in bangalore. frustrating at times, interesting at other times -- always entertaining. not so much kannada in the center of town as you hear bengali, hindi, marathi, hingligh, indian-english and the occasional twang. on saturdays, typical brigade road demographics go something like this: 20% women, 30% young men, 30% old men, and 20% white/oriental/blacks.

and often, you'll see a polyester checked shirt with a tall caucasian sporting green cargo shorts flagging an auto....

polyester shirt will say, "is bangalore too much of a culture shaark for you? this is aahto.... give it a shaat."

wokay, why naat.