the small pleasures of serendipity

a chance discovery by way of a NPR interview. how many times has that happened? too many to count. i know at least one bill clinton and one mother teresa who will find fiction attic interesting...

i did.

now, if there are any einsteins out there to join me, you'll probably find Orion interesting...

i did.

one day and two finds. i can sleep happy :)
by the way, see jada pinkett-smith here for an idea of how my hair looks now.

more books... and some hot blood

... thanks anu - the Marjane satrapi series sounds fascinating. indeed, am adding them to my list. remember zahra kazemi? iran has always fascinated me and her sad story made me sit up and wonder what really goes on in those closed societies. the princess series is another i have been wanting to read.

i also remembered an old(er) book i have been meaning to read and now that the movie is about to be released, i'd better hurry up: Memoirs of a geisha. on the topic, check out Jodi Cobb's research for national geographic on geishas. pretty interesting. Cobb is an amazing woman photographer who has also worked with and documented the lives of women in saudi arabia.
so the new added ones are:

1. embroideries
2. Persepolis 1 & 2
3. Princess Series 1,2,3
4. Memoirs of a Geisha
   

of late i have been reading about women in parts of africa who live a dismal, pre-planned existence. pre-planned by their father, who, usually in debt forsakes his daughter (some as young as 9,10) to men as old as 50,60, even 70 in return for debts owed. the little girls become bed-mates and then have pregnancies that are disastrous. they "belong" to their husband's family and usually have no recourse, save courage. and some use that courage to escape, others to just bear night after night of misery.

yesterday i heard the Diane Rehm interview on the Mukhtar Mai episode. much as i like Diane, somehow that interview -- maybe beause of the language barrier -- seemed irrelevant and dislodged given the gravity of the situation. and when one "Madhav" called in to say "women in india have traditionally been worshipped. why are you concentrating on this incident and clubbing india, pakistan and afghanistan?" haan?! the Amnesty guy present correctly said "ask the women who were raped in gujarat their story" were they worshipped? and the women in the north-east? how silly can these Madhav-men get? do they honestly believe that women are worshipped in modern society? that they ever really were? that they were not treated merely as objects owned? ask draupadi. ask any number of women. "worshipped!" my left toe.

sadly, when women bring up the issues of gender and women's rights, even well-read people apathetically dismiss it as "oh there's another woman talking about gender."

given the patriarchal societies that we live in, the day men stand up enmasse to fight for rights denied, we can be granted that apathy. unfortunately until then, whoever cares has to speak up. and more often than not, on women's and children's issues only women care.

i know i sound naiive when i say this, but i wish there was a way out towards equity and justice the world over.

which film are you? which leader are you?

come back and tell me what you are, if you take these tests ;)


What Classic Movie Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

What Famous Leader Are You?
personality tests by similarminds.com

notes to myself

one decision in feb this year allows me monday morning freedom to think back and ponder, to indulge and contemplate on the year, the changes, the decisions and the days ahead.... thanks, sanat.

am listening to Amartya Sen speak on democracy on NPR and mulling over what i need to do, what i want to read.

here are some books that i have to read for my own good:

• the argumentative indian (amartya sen -- history, culture and democracy in india)
• india: a million mutinies now (vs naipaul -- history of india)
• branded by law (dilip d'souza -- about the denotified tribes in india)
• my land my people (dalai lama -- his autobiography on life as a Dalai Lama and Tibet)
• adoption in india (vinita bhargava -- first of its kind book on what it takes to adopt in india)
• hampi (george mitchell -- descriptions of the ruins)
• extremes along the silkroad (nick middleton -- travelogue on the silk route)
• natural capitalism (paul hawken et al -- book on ecologically friendly capitalism)
• power to the people (vijay vaitheeswaran -- the energy and envt correspondent for the economist -- book on the energy future of the planet)
• monsoon (steve mc curry-- my photo guru -- need to study his work)
• the world is flat (Friedman -- you've heard of this, no doubt)
  
• eats, shoots and leaves (Lynne Truss -- a very interesting book on grammar and punctuation)
  
• other reference ones on various topics ranging from Shivaji to Photography.

strangely enough all the above are non-fiction. the couple fiction books i read in the past 6 months or so are by Dan Brown (DVC and A&D) and by Satyajit Ray (adventures of Feluda). if you are looking for a quick mystery, pick up the feluda series. quintessential Ray, it is fast moving, graphic in expression and with curious twists.

what i am realizing more and more is that there is no substitute (for me) for reading and learning. i have so much to catch up on, recognizing that in the ten years i was away, i did a bad job of keeping up with what was happening in india. i was interested in social issues and environmental problems, but didnt keep up my end of the bargain by reading about the developments. so now i have to double up and run faster. i feel the need for a mentor. someone who has been through this process and is a successful, sincere and aware journalist. someone who can guide me or at least keep me honest.

india is teeming with talented journalists and knowledgable people with more than an equal number of charlatans. as the curtain falls on another year, it's up to me to make sure i belong to the former and not to the latter group.

mehendi rang layegi

life plays out strangely. arathi (with an h) got married yesterday.

16 years ago, i joined St. Xaviers college, Bombay doggedly certain that i wanted to only study physics. Xaviers is a culture unto itself and anyone having passed through its haloed doors is a citizen of a community that connects on some innate level. but, for all that, there is snobbery and snootishness galore from some who live, say, in "napeansea road" rather than, say, in dadar.
so quite often, dadar hangs out with mahim and kanjurmarg hangs out with chembur. napeansea road hangs out with carmichael road. but somewhere along the way, as one grows up and charts life paths, carmichael road finds kinship with chembur and santacruz is best buddies with cuffe parade and it equals out eventually. but when one is 16 or 17, being from "napeansea road" matters. and being from "the suburbs" matters even more.

and so, as affinities developed, anupama, arathi, arati and aparna hung out together. like minds, like lifestyles and like natures. inseparable 4-As we were called. then suddenly, one day -- a month into my three year sojourn at Xaviers, arathi disappeared. just like that. no byes, no explanations. anupama, aparna and arati stuck on, finished their bachelors and then went separate ways with the due byes and "we'll catch up later." oh, and we did.

but arathi (with the H) was awol. until 6 years later. sanat and i were getting married. and sanat casually mentioned one day, "my cousin was in xaviers for a month -- her name is also arathi." eureka! i had found the missing fourth member of our gang. turns out she'd left to study engg in pune suddenly. suddenly was right... but, it was great to see her again.

she disappeared and re-appeared several times in the decade of my marriage to her cousin, but somehow we always knew the general area she was in. for now she was related. and relatives have a way of keeping tabs ;)

and now, 10 years on, arathi tied the proverbial knot. and once again will disappear -- this time to dallas. but, today, we are going out for dinner and "byes" and au revoirs will definitely be exchanged. this send off will be proper.

i'll miss her though. she's a fun loving, talented, interested creature.
and yes, afterall, she's a xavierite.

;)

Who cries when mothers die?

here's my second article for India Together:
It's a little long, but the problem is no mean one either.

Who cries when mothers die?
The probability of an Indian mother dying during childbirth is roughly 10 times that of her Chinese counterpart. Reducing the Maternal Mortality Ratio (MMR) by three-quarters in 10 years is now a Millennium Development Goal. Why is MMR in India so high and how far are we from the goal? Arati Rao unravels the many challenges to saving mothers' lives.

21 November 2005 - Lhamu, a mother of twelve, lives in a remote village in Western Tibet. Three of her children died within a month of birth and the four year old strapped to her back looked as small as a one year old. She gave birth all alone, at home, all twelve times. But Lhamu was lucky. She didn't die. One in 33 women dies during childbirth in Tibet. Malnutrition, abject poverty and lack of any health care – however basic—plagues Lhamu's family, as it does much of Tibet. Tibet – vast lonely stretches of dead habit with nary a creature on its harsh plains and no economy to speak of. It can't be as bad here in new economy India, right?

Think again.

One in 48 women in India is at risk of dying during childbirth. The Maternal Mortality Ratio (MMR) in India is a high 407 per 100,000 live births, according to the National Health Policy 2002. Other sources put the MMR at a higher 540 (NHFS and UNICEF data, 2000). Reducing the Maternal Mortality Ratio (MMR) by three-quarters by 2015 is a Millennium Development Goal (MDG) for all countries including India. Achieving this means reducing the MMR to 100 by 2015. Part of the problem is this measurement – MMR data is just not there and if it is, it varies widely depending on what method was used to get it.

Studies show MMR among scheduled tribes (652) and scheduled castes (584) is higher than in women of other castes (516, according to one study). It is higher among illiterate women (574) than those having completed middle school (484). The key determinant seems to be access to healthcare. Less-developed villages had a significantly higher MMR (646) than moderately or well-developed villages (501 and 488 deaths, respectively).

"It is very sad that the numbers are so high even 57 years after independence," avers Dr H Sudarshan who is Vigilance Director (Health) of the anti-corruption body Karnataka Lokayukta. "Not only are the numbers from the Sample Registration System (SRS) high, they are also incomplete. We do not know how many mothers actually died during childbirth and why. Underreporting is rampant and people hide MMR numbers in fear of repercussions. We need state-wise and within states, district-wise data," says Sudarshan who was also Chairman of the Karnataka Health Task Force which made wide-ranging recommendations based on a 2-3 year detailed study conducted in the state. Regardless, the UN MMR numbers for India (540) are several times higher than those for other developing countries like China (56), Brazil (260), Thailand (44), Mexico (83) or even Sri Lanka (92).

Medical reasons

So what exactly leads to such a high MMR? ....

read the full article on the India Together website: http://indiatogether.org/2005/nov/hlt-steepmmr.htm

banana leaves, retro dance and a trophy

yesterday couldnt have been more varied. a clear cold day in bangalore began with breathless activity shunting sanjana for her karate class. she likes it and it seems to be helping her develop a sense of discipline. (of course, that i get the "why karate and all that, let her miss a few classes" from all generations riles me. but then, that is my problem.) after a good breakfast of adais, sanjana wanted to dress up for a formal traditional "do" at the Vidyapeetha Ashrama. so backless ghagra choli, eyeliner, bindis galore, tattoos, bangles and the works later, she looked satisfied. "now i look pretty, right mommy?" you always do, doll.

Vidyapeetha looked like a different world. all the residents were male, dressed in dhotis and janwaaras, carrying scriptures. naamams in ash and sandalwood adorned their bodies and they spoke pure kannada or chanted in sanskrit. oh, and we heard the occasional reference to the impending cricket match between south africa and india in chinnaswamy stadium -- "match yaavaga shuru?" (when does the match start?). a more incongruous comment in that setting was not possible.

no footwear allowed. so we headed to an old polite man who was the keeper of all the sandals and shoes in the premises, paid him 50p per pair (there is still something 50p can buy you?!) and he gave us a cardboard with a handwritten "84." ok. need to keep that if we want our slippers back. but this was a study in india's diversity. and the polar opposites of our own social life. the family which is all tradition and silk. the friends who are all pop-culture and chic. could these two coexist? you bet. maybe as long as they dont mingle ;)

in a quick salwar kameez, kaajal and a dash of sindoor on my hairline, i was the most underdressed in that congregation of kanjeewarams, gold and mangalsutras. i had carried my mangalsutra in my purse, just in case some curious ajji with probing fingers queried my neck... "nodona, nindu wodave...?" (let me see your jewelry). after quick pleasantries with about 15 ajjis and some tathas -- some of whom cynically asked "we hear you are in bangalore," alluding to the fact that we have been quite incommunicado with them, we looked forward to a good banana leaf lunch. soon i blanched at the fact that rice was the main course and more rice was the next, and more... however, the accompaniments tasted really good. trying hard to eat only the minimal carbs in india is a lost cause :)

and, just as we were finishing up, a call came.

"yes, ok. two? alright. yeah, i'll be there." sanat's side of the conversation. darn! he's off again somewhere, i thought. "cricket match," he turned to me triumphantly. "i have two tickets. let's go." 6000 bucks each. WHAT? i could think of endless possibilities of what could be accomplished with 6000 bucks. times two. so 12K. wow. but the half orange (media naranja in spanish is spouse) did not flinch. once in a year. come on, let's go.

we fought about it for a while. it helped that no one else was even remotely interested. and no, it was not the money -- no one even got as far as "how much is the ticket?" just blanket nos and blank expressions to match. wasnt this a cricketing country? werent these guys cricket fans? imagine if this was manish and bineet and macha here. or sucheta. a chance to see dravid and yuvraj up close (pavilion seating)... well, but for these locals, apparently not.

so i went. and i dont regret it one bit. what a view, what atmosphere and what a match! indian cricket is on a high and the team is looking like a well-oiled machine. but more importantly, there is a hunger and a magic to the team that i have not seen in decades. or ever. which easily translates to the enthusiasm in the crowd. it sounded like an NFL stadium there. and i didnt realise the pace of the shots -- sehwag's fours, irfan's drives-- until yesterday. or the dimunitive size of the indian players in comparison with the broad shouldered 6foot-plus springboks. but all the size in the world couldnt douse the fire yesterday and dravid's men marched out triumphant.

and then it happened. we walked out of the stadium and as i pushed through the crowd, i happened to look up and to the left. a face looked oddly familiar standing beside a stunner who was on the phone. i didnt glance at the stunner but strode up to the owner of the 'face' who was standing in the shadows arms folded. "you do india proud and i love to watch you play." "thanks," he smiled.

i had just shaken hands with Mahesh Bhupathi.

we rushed on to change into retro outfits (i wore a shocking pink short kurta with bright blue patialas, tied a bright blue scarf around my head and a sunshine yellow crushed dupatta around my neck) and we rushed across town to rasheeda's party. 3 hours, some dancing (kajra re, funky town, saturday night fever, dus bahane, dancing queen) and much mingling with dripping lipstick and cocktails later -- weary as hell, we made Airport Road -> Lavelle Road in 10 minutes flat and flopped into bed.

a day of contrasts snuffed out only to look forward to yet another.

so! am i happy?

six months into the stint in india, am i happy?

round one, work:
i am in my home country which lives life in the open, everyday and everywhere. for someone with a lens and a pen, what could be more exhilarating? i get to research whatever it is i choose to write on, get to meet various people with opinions as different as chalk and cheese, get to set my own schedules, go places i want to and figure out what the hell it is i want from life.

consider the options. i would be back in chandler with a desk job where i would be researching one product in one industry for one group of no consequence in the long run.

so round one: workwise -- i'm thrilled.

round two, extra curricular:
i am in my home country where theatre and arts, music and dance is there for the taking. am thinking of joining ranga shankara (local theatre) and first go regularly for plays (which i love) and second, start getting more involved (which i have always wanted to do).

consider the option: i'm sure i could've done the same in chandler, but the verve, the colour, the enthu and the familiarity was lacking -- on both sides. oh and if i was in my cube, precious little was going to happen. the brief stint of watching plays in gammage was great, but i wanted to get closer.

so round two: extra curricular -- the potential is huge, i'm excited!

round three: social
we have had visitors almost everyweek (house guests, not just drop-ins) since july. has been great, no doubt. friends -- no dearth of people here, but i am one to form friends slowly. so am still getting there. but hey -- bineet-sarita are moving back. things are instantly looking up! plus am getting off my ass and meeting people -- which is always good.

consider the options: i do miss you guys. darn. if you were here, what a blast!

round three: social -- i'm on my way to being happy :)

round four, sanjana:
the small character has had such a full experience here. family -- extended and immediate, friends of all varieties, company in the evenings -- as she wills, school is fun, she travels to all kinds of places and learns about so many things, and so many sides to the same thing -- it is just wonderful grounding for a child.

consider the options: one would have to expend many extra cycles for the above to happen. here, it just does.

round four: sanjana -- i couldnt be happier.

so in all these six months, any regrets? just one... wish this feeling of "time is running out" would go away ;).

is the sum of the parts greater than the whole? yes... for a person like me, being anywhere different (from status quo) is fun. takes a while for the clouds to clear enough to see the blue sky, but once it does... soaring time :)

how many days to prejudice?

7:15 am every day, sanjana (with backpack on shoulders and water bottle slung across) and i watch the people passing by our gates on their way to making their days. and some stop and talk, some smile and pass, some scowl while some pretend we aren't there.

2 days ago.

person a: so, do you enjoy school sanjana?
sanjana: yes (with a smile).
person a: maybe now you do. when you grow up, you wont.

next day.

person b: do you like school?
sanjana: yes (with a smile).
person b: maybe now you do. i teach in a school and i dont like it. you wont either.

next day.

person a: so, did you like school? (to me)
yes, i did, thank you.
person a: maybe you liked to study.
person a: so you like school uh? (to sanjana now)
sanjana: yes (with a smile)
person a: wait and see, when you get to fourth grade you wont like it.

excuse me. but is the world ganging up against a four year-old and brainwashing her into thinking school is a pain? i mean, where is tact? and where is positivity? the poor kid loves going to school, always has. and now every morning at the bus stop she is told she will hate it.

think about it, growing up is all about conditioning. being told things. a completely trusting child is made to distrust, not like, hate, be biased and believe other people's beliefs. like believing being fat is a bad thing. sanjana has nothing against fat people or things. yet. but all around her people (including me) moan "oh, i'm fat." "yuck, she's fat." "i dont like her coz she's fat." with this all around, i wouldnt blame the child if she adopts such opinions. as it is, she's started asking me "mommy, am i fat?"

and in the case of school, it has happened only 3 times so far, but god forbid if the kid starts abhorring school, or believing that she should.

i have come to believe that a child is like a walking, talking conscience. questioning prejudices, devoid of biases or cynicism and with sincerity towards all. and in the face of this nascent innocence, the adult looks bigoted, cynical and shallow.

how long until this child is sullied completely?